Oriented to him

So much for consistency, huh? Here I am two months later. So much has changed. The biggest change is that Scott is in the midst of a job hunt, and we are (consequently) in the midst of waiting on God. I turned 21 toward the end of September, was able to share my thoughts and spiritual implications from The Kite Runner in a book talk here at school, and finished two months of working in a middle school tutoring two boys. I've been to three months of Women at The Well, a couple months of accountability group, and about one month into Beth Moore's Believing God Bible study. Each of these situations has reminded me of both the sovereignty of God (surprises, changes, showing me I don't have control and it's all to Him) and the sufficiency of God (even in the surprises, He is enough-- I don't need more). Wow. The past month has been the most spiritually exhausting I have ever experienced. I have battled every day between asking BIG- asking God's provision through Scott's search- and trying to just wait. This past week the Lord spoke, "Wait on Me, child. Wait. Don't rush. Don't force situations I don't want. Trust Me. Trust Me. I know what's best for you. I want what's best for you. I love you, I love you, I love you." I don't find that message ironic at all considering last week I was sharing a little of my faith journey for our girls' small group and next week I'm giving a student lecture at school mentioning the need to stop trying and to start trusting. No, it's not ironic; yes, it's ordained. Nor do I find it ironic that this month of exhaustion and dead-ends has coincided with the BG study. Seems that what I've needed to read God has put in front of me multiple times on multiple days. I am thankful He makes these things clear enough for people like me to finally clue in to! Our Father knows best.

So, going along with what He's telling me, I've really been praying for the home Scott and I will begin together on July 14, 2007. I've seen how supportive I can be sometimes and how much nagging I can do while he is looking for new work. The Spirit's been working in my heart; I'm so contemplative these days about how I, as such a practical person looking for the most efficient way, am marrying a visionary man-- one who sees the big picture before the details, an order completely reversed from my own. I'm grateful for all the affirmation God's given me about how necessary that combination and that stretching is, as well as how much that combination can and will benefit us. I cannot express how much I anticipate the day when I call him my husband for the first time and can begin helping him in the role of his wife! (Genesis 1:26-31, 2:7-25; 1 Corinthians 11:8-9)

So, there's this excerpt I encountered that continues to remind me of how Scott and I are wired and what the appropriate response is. Scott is definitely oriented to the task; he gets ideas I could never even dream of. Even though we aren't yet married, it's my job to already begin seeking the habit of being oriented to him. This is wonderful:

"The man needs the help; the woman needs to help. Marriage was created by God to provide companionship in the labor of dominion. The cultural mandate, the requirement to fill and subdue the earth, is still in force, and a husband cannot fulfill this portion of the task in isolation. He needs a companion suitable for him in the work to which God has called him. He is called to the work and must receive help from her. She is called to the work through ministering to him. He is oriented to the task and she is oriented to him." -Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson