What do you have?

Over the past couple days, I have been spending lots of time in 2 Kings. I confess that I am intimidated by the Old Testament many days, but this year I decided to spend more time there. I have been so enriched by that! Anyway, 2 Kings 4 begins with a story about the widow's oil....and when I began reading, I remembered reading it before, but it is so interesting to see God's sovereignty as He leads us to Scripture that is so intensely personal and applicable and relevant to His children at this present time!

If you aren't familiar with the story, the widow is left with her husband's debts, and creditors are threatening to come, bringing the possibility of her sons being sold as slaves. She calls on Elisha, the chief prophet, for a word from the Lord. Elisha then asks such a poignant question--"What do you have?" The woman begins by saying she has nothing and then remembers she does have something-- a little oil. Pause: If this were me, I am sure I would park on the "nothing" for quite a while, dramatize the severity of my situation, and do anything and everything to elicit self-pity. However, this widow doesn't stay there. She remembers something she does have, oil, and although her cupboards may be bare and her purse empty, she recognizes what she already has. Elisha works from there and tells her to go ask for jars...and adds a sweet side-note: "Don't ask for just a few." Second pause: I hate asking people for help. I mean, I HAAAATE it...and I hate to feel like I am in people's way. I don't know if I would let my timidity and stubbornness be put aside to ask for jars -- and MANY jars at that!

By faith, she and her sons will knock on people's doors and ask for EVERY jar they may have-- likely not knowing the purpose for this. By faith, the community lends their jars freely and unquestionably. By faith, Elisha speaks God's word that God can and does take what we have -- as insignificant as a little oil in a bare kitchen may seem -- and multiple it. Perhaps in His sovereignty, He has given or left us with something that He desires for us to offer before lavishing a bigger miracle on us. The widow and her sons fill every single jar with oil. That little bit of oil somehow does not stop flowing until the last jar is filled to the brim...and then they receive a word that they claim as truth and as sufficient: to pay the debts AND have enough left to live on--all from that little bit of oil, dozens of jars, and tremendous faith!

I can't help but stop to think of all the what-ifs here. What if she HAD stopped at "nothing"? What if they didn't feel right asking for jars? What if the community questioned and didn't give? What if Elisha didn't speak his convictions? What if the woman refused to begin filling the jars because she knew a couple tablespoons were inadequate? What if she refused to ask for help from Elisha in the first place? And then I think... Isn't that so much like our Father in Heaven?! Isn't it so much like Him that He initiates relationship but waits for us to make the decision and to pursue a life with Him, instead of our never doing anything? Isn't it so much like our God not to want us to stop after one, two, twelve jars...but to chase more than we know are even out there? Isn't it so much like the Lord to keep the oil flowing to the brim and THEN give us enough to live on?

His word is real. Fresh. Personal. Thank You, Father.

Different worlds..... or are they??

I don't know if I have ever posted twice in a day; I suppose I may reiterate that I have a snow day today! :) After checking my campus mail box which is typically uneventful (expect for the occasions when I get Scott's mail), I ripped into a new letter from the child Scott and I sponsor through Compassion International. First, if you don't know about Compassion or are looking for a way to partner in ministry, check out www.compassion.com. I am planning to send off my application soon to be an area rep. and will be giving more details about specific sponsorships during the MercyMe concert in the Tri-Cities at the end of March. This is a worthwhile cause and one that is so reliable.

Anyway, we've had Mwimi for about three years now, since the end of the first year we began dating... and it's been more fun than we could have ever imagined. I'm dying to head to Tanzania and meet him! One amazing thing about Compassion is that you stay very well-informed about your child. You receive report cards detailing his/her progress, drawings, new pictures, and letters pretty often, and you may respond online for an even more efficient and convenient means of communication. Today our letter was in response to the birthday gift we sent Mwimi through Compassion, which was a mere $10 extra... and Mwimi's translator wrote this: "He says he thanks you so much for the birthday gift. He enjoyed it so much and bought paint and materials to work on their house. Also they bought sugar..." This was an instance when I had to do a double-take. Did I seriously just read that this ten year old boy had just spent his special birthday gift for house materials and sugar? I was reminded that Daniel's and my ideas of luxury are so different. I can't imagine using birthday money at the age of ten (or 21!) for materials and ingredients. I was reminded that Daniel probably gets the "poverty in spirit" idea much better than I ever will (Matthew 5:3). Deep down, Daniel's heart and my heart are both vacuums waiting to be filled every day with the Spirit... and I can't help but think that maybe Daniel's birthday spendings would be a little more kingdom-like than mine.

This year, God has made me increasingly aware of the world's needs and of my own selfish ambition and (to put it correspondingly to my current study) our culture's Babylonian mentality. Yesterday morning, a woman for whom I have the utmost admiration and respect reminded me, "Allison, when you become aware, you're responsible." How true. With every inch of greater awareness, I have a tremendous God-given responsibility. May I never neglect it.

Vocation and the Will of God

I keep thinking about three specific quotations today. I've been hearing a lot from God on waiting - waiting for His revelation, His provision.... and sometimes I just get sick of waiting, like today. It is still seven and a half months until I get married, and I want it to be next week. It has been six weeks since my fiance had a job, and I want the Lord to at least open something so that it doesn't seem like everything has closed right in front of our faces. I have only two and a half weeks left of school, but I want to go home, to be in my own bed, and to be near my family NOW. Waiting just seems more difficult today. You know what He keeps telling me? He keeps reminding me that making me wait helps ensure that I go where I am needed- even if, or especially if, I don't want or expect to be there. So here are the big three, and I've heard each during my time here in college:

"Vocation is the place where your deep gladness makes the world's greatest need." -Frederick Buechner
-Funny thing is, our first essay/writing sample before beginning classes at King was working off this quotation to see where we'd be placed in English classes. Who knew that three and a half years later, I hope for it to be true all the time.

"God, command what You will, and grant what You command." -Augustine
-Another freshman year introduction that hasn't left our minds for a moment! Augustine is everywhere, and I'm currently praying to pray this. Get it? I'm not just praying to say it; I'm praying to want to say it! I'm sick of having faith when it's convenient. I want to live it ALL THE TIME.

"How dare you waste your life where you are not needed... To settle for something prescribed by the culture...is to give up the dream. You are called to be social change agents, revolutionaries for the Kingdom." -Dr. Tony Campolo in chapel on September 6th

Each of these question where we think we're going versus where God wants us. For me, He's telling me to wait. For me, it's easier to settle for something prescribed. Like I mentioned in convo a couple weeks ago, I don't want to measure my life out in coffee spoons like T.S. Eliot describes. I want to be willing to go or change whenever for whatever, however. May I rest in Your sovereignty, Father.

Refreshment

Proverbs 11:25 says, "He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." So, here goes another blog in this cyberworld that's already congested...hopefully one that will indeed bring at least a little more refreshment than many of the others. While the blogging concept is not new to me, this format is, so we'll see how things go. The Lord is renewing my spirit more and more with a greater desire to bring Him glory. I'm learning that that means glorifying the Father in ALL aspects of life, not just in prayer or in thought, but in car rides to work, in seemingly insignificant blogs, in marriage preparation, in work ethic...in ALL things He deserves to see glory brought to Himself. I'm tired of blogs that aren't profitable or purposeful. I just want this to be a reflection of my life, which I pray is one of visible purpose, and more importantly a reflection of the One who gives life. He is so faithful, and He is working in my heart. The journey proves interesting and rewarding; here begins my chronicles.