It's really too bad that I went this long without updating; I'd been doing so much better!! So many things have happened--way too much to chronicle in this blog. I'm grateful that I have kept up my "real" journal and have realized that I can't make much time for the Internet anymore.... which is probably for the best. Since I last wrote, I had an amazing Christmas with my family and wonderful fiance, who was (unfortunately for him) unable to be with his family for his last bachelor Christmas but was (fortunately for me) able to spend it with my family and enjoy many of our traditions. The Lord has been so faithful to use my family and friends to provide for us in ways that Scott and I could have never expected. He is taking care of us, no matter how much anxiety I seem to have from time to time. The new year kicked off, and I can't stop thinking about how this is my last year before I become a wife!! We have just over five months to go, and when we started with fifteen, I can't believe only five remain. :)
On January 2nd, I started life in the classroom. I have five classes of high schoolers right now-- French I, two French II, English 10 Honors, and General English 11-inclusion. I am thankful to be in a place where I have two awesome mentor teachers, feel included in the faculty, and have a really fantastic group of students!! The students have been so kind to me from day one. I'm also thankful that I have been able to see the full range of students with such totally different classes. I will admit, however, that I anticipate heading to the middle school because I will hopefully be doing less preparations! Right now I am planning for 25 classes a week, and that is killing me. This is my last week doing the FULL load at the high school. I look forward to having one grade in middle school (7th), but I know that I don't want to leave AHS. I am crazy about those kids! I have come to enjoy my 30-minute drive each way and by day three realized that it's the perfect time to bathe those students and that school day in prayer. My heart breaks for these students who are expected to concentrate on proofreading practice and learning irregular conjugations and analyzing a novel when they have worked 60 hours that week, when Dad just got thrown in jail, when the best friend just committed suicide, when they just got put on probation. It's certainly not all depressing all the time, but I realize that I have grown up so privileged compared the majority of my students. I appreciate even more my responsibility and conviction as a teacher to ensure that school is a place of safety, consistency, and sincerity. I've learned that they see right through you and don't respond well to angry or sarcastic teachers. I've learned that when you show them that you appreciate what they're doing those eight hours every day and when you take interest in how their sick grandmother is or how they made the soccer team, they see that they mean something...that there is meaning...that I am not there simply to exist or to do a job. I am thankful most of all that this time has been nothing but affirmation for my calling (at least for as long as I know) to teach. I have felt beaten down and defeated so often and have cried more each week than I have in my entire life, but I feel like I'm getting through to them.... That is priceless.
Scott is one of two candidates remaining of forty-something who applied for this youth ministry position. Our Father has been so gracious to give each of us so many situations of absolute humility and, in many ways, feelings of defeat these last several weeks. We have each found ourselves in circumstances and conversations we could have never imagined. He is at work. I am learning to wait on Him. He is really doing something big in us... I am most stoked about that. A few weeks ago, I began another study - this time Daniel by Beth Moore. This is my first time doing a Bible study in a group of ladies not my age or younger. All of them are older than me, and I anticipate each week's meeting of fellowship, prayer, discussion, and lattes more and more. These are dozens of women who have come from all walks of faith in my home community, and we have many congregations, ages, and backgrounds represented. They are all strong women of faith that spur me on toward abiding in Jesus. I am so excited about the things impressed on my heart by the Lord, and I plan to share those in the next couple of months. It is one of the most culturally-relevant and mind-stretching studies I have done... plus it is OT and Revelation- two areas most intimidating to me. Anyway, time for some more papers to grade until I update again..... not six weeks later next time-- I promise!!
1 comment:
Keep up the good work.
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