Jehovah-rapha

I've been going through Beth Moore's Believing God study and am halfway through. Even though I'm doing week five, it's so neat to see how the Lord keeps refreshing my mind and spirit with previous sessions, reminding me that I haven't quite "gotten it." For two months now I have been interceding for God's provision of a job for Scott. I don't know what it feels like to intercede for one thing for years and years, but these two months have seemed long enough to be years. One door after another is closed, and it seems that even the windows are foggy. Those jobs that we would expect to be "shoe-in" jobs are not even working out. Meanwhile, I'm learning about unbelief. I've been asking, and I've realized what I'm asking has changed, and what I'm expecting has changed as well. I anticipate the Lord to work in such a way that glorifies only Him - that is beyond my expectation or imagination - and have stopped putting my agenda onto Him. I'm done. There are a couple insights He's given me that help when we think about asking Him to receive something (a job, physical healing, restored relationships, whatever) and either: a) don't receive it, or b) receive something that looks totally different from what we desired.

First, I'm learning this: Sometimes God may prioritize the faith required to continue trusting Him when we don't get what we ask over the faith required to receive it. Yes, He is our Jehovah-jireh. Yes, He knows what's best for His children - better than we know ourselves. We don't recognize that His lack of instant provision of the exact image we constructed may be purposeful not only for maturation of faith but for a continual process of believing.

Second, in asking for God to provide - a physical miracle, an emotional one, or a basic need (i.e. money to pay the rent) - I've been studying more on the concept of God as our Jehovah-rapha, our Healer. Part of Psalm 103 says:

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

The original Hebrew for heals, rapha', is a verb meaning "to make healthful or heal - hurts of nations, of individual distress, or of persons... to mend (by stitching)." This is awesome to consider! God's provision, His healing of our hearts or bodies suggests process. Stitching is progressive, taking time and trust. Trust Him with your heart. He does know best, and I'm learning that His stitching may be painful, emotional, frustrating....but it will be finished some day. The stitching will be complete, and the needlepoint will be glorious. Keep on believing.

*By the way, I spoke at my college's convocation on Monday morning, and I am so thrilled to have delivered a word that I know was specifically impressed on my heart these past few weeks. Prayers were definitely felt and heard, and I cannot express how neat it has been to see how the Lord has orchestrated these ideas in other hearts. I am eternally grateful for His ability to use even me to piece some thoughts together for our community. Praise Him!!