Like a rubberband...

Well, it's been nearly a month, and I am finally writing. This is my last semester of classes in my undergraduate career. Next semester I will student teach and graduate. Then, I'll marry my best friend, have a roommate for life, and hopefully begin working at a school shortly after. The past two and a half weeks on campus have been surreal, and I know the months ahead will be even weirder. Because most of my friends graduated or are no longer living on campus, I constantly struggle with loneliness. I know that this is not just a result of circumstances but a mentality I choose. Nevertheless, it seems hard to find motivation to make new friends and invest in those relationships when next semester I'll rarely see them, and after that I'll be gone for good. Needless to say, it feels like a totally different place. Combine the absence of precious girlfriends, my fiance, and the goofy guys with an invasion of the biggest enrollment to date, and you'll find a college senior officially intimidated. However, this is not in vain. These feelings, this intimidation, these questions....are not wasted by any means. The Lord has been so faithful to hear my cries to Him and to remind me He is the most faithful companion, the Author of love and relationships and investment. Therefore, even though I feel like I've been transported to a somewhat different place, I am growing more and more dependent on Christ. I am going through Kay Arthur's Lord, I Want to Know You, and that has been a blessed consistency in my life. I love exploring in-depth the names of God and learning about the Hebrew that gets lost in translation... I love her Precept studies because I am not only reminded of concepts, promises, and tendencies but am forced to think about where my life fits in and where those names of God fit in, too. Scott and I finished going through Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts which was a huge feat in itself. I am anxious to begin counseling and see the concepts we studied put into more aggressive discussion and then practice. Between the weirdness of this semester and my thoughts toward marriage preparation, I am finally getting at least a liiiittle bit closer to praying without ceasing. Of course I cease all the time - but I am learning, and the concept of communion with God (continual, ongoing, transforming) is being more familiar each day. My personal Bible study and the Parrotts' book study with Scott have been excellent for growth, but I still crave accountability time with the girls. I miss my best girlfriend not being around but love watching her interact with her new groom. Next week a new ministry through The Well will begin for college women, and I couldn't be more excited. There is something about fellowship among sisters in Christ that is just so sweet and pure. Anyway, enough rambling for now.... Dr. Tony Campolo spoke on campus yesterday, and I definitely want to go over my notes and think on those a little more. Hopefully I will become a little more consistent in my writing and meditating on my being like a rubberband. God stretches me really, really wide--and just before I pop, He loosens me and I conform to the size I was intended to be:)