In case you don't know (or forgot), I want to spend the rest of my life (at least at the moment!) in school. That's right... I LOVE it. One reason is because of who makes it up--the kids! Last week was VBS and this week I have been teaching 8-4 each day at King Scholar Academy, an enrichment day camp for grades 3-6. I taught a class called "Fairy Tale Fun" where we read original stories, worked on summarizing and paraphrasing, put the Big Bad Wolf on trial in a real courtroom debate, wrote fairy tale characters letters (and received responses), wrote cinquains and acrostics with fairy tale characters' names, and did a culminating project where we chose a fairy tale and retold it in some way. One group performed "Little Red, Riding in the Hood." It was classic. Anyway, it has been a blessing for many reasons, one of which being that it affirmed my calling for grades 7-12. Ha! Really, though, I definitely prefer the kind of content and less disciplinary issues that accompany secondary ed... but this week has been fun hanging out with a different age group.
One student, who came last year when I taught French there, decided that he would join us at the "teacher table" during lunch each day. He plopped his tray on the table, said "Hey, guys" in the most adorable voice possible, and began conversing with us like a little man. He continued this trend for the rest of the week. Today, when I asked what he wanted to be when he grows up, he said, "Probably an inventor." If there is ever a kid who can do it, this one can, so we continued talking until the conversation involved the idea of a time machine. We were talking about places we would or wouldn't go, and I told him if he ever found a solution to make one, I'd buy one from him. This student's seven-year old response is priceless and holds so much truth: "Miss Allison, I could never make one. Nobody can get in God's way, you know... He can't be stopped." How refreshing and affirming it was to hear a third grader already attuned to the nature of our Heavenly Father. Students speak truth so often and are many times unheard; we're too busy, too annoyed, or too stubborn. How precious are these kids in the sight of the Lord!
6.22.2007
6.11.2007
What do you have?
Over the past couple days, I have been spending lots of time in 2 Kings. I confess that I am intimidated by the Old Testament many days, but this year I decided to spend more time there. I have been so enriched by that! Anyway, 2 Kings 4 begins with a story about the widow's oil....and when I began reading, I remembered reading it before, but it is so interesting to see God's sovereignty as He leads us to Scripture that is so intensely personal and applicable and relevant to His children at this present time!
If you aren't familiar with the story, the widow is left with her husband's debts, and creditors are threatening to come, bringing the possibility of her sons being sold as slaves. She calls on Elisha, the chief prophet, for a word from the Lord. Elisha then asks such a poignant question--"What do you have?" The woman begins by saying she has nothing and then remembers she does have something-- a little oil. Pause: If this were me, I am sure I would park on the "nothing" for quite a while, dramatize the severity of my situation, and do anything and everything to elicit self-pity. However, this widow doesn't stay there. She remembers something she does have, oil, and although her cupboards may be bare and her purse empty, she recognizes what she already has. Elisha works from there and tells her to go ask for jars...and adds a sweet side-note: "Don't ask for just a few." Second pause: I hate asking people for help. I mean, I HAAAATE it...and I hate to feel like I am in people's way. I don't know if I would let my timidity and stubbornness be put aside to ask for jars -- and MANY jars at that!
By faith, she and her sons will knock on people's doors and ask for EVERY jar they may have-- likely not knowing the purpose for this. By faith, the community lends their jars freely and unquestionably. By faith, Elisha speaks God's word that God can and does take what we have -- as insignificant as a little oil in a bare kitchen may seem -- and multiple it. Perhaps in His sovereignty, He has given or left us with something that He desires for us to offer before lavishing a bigger miracle on us. The widow and her sons fill every single jar with oil. That little bit of oil somehow does not stop flowing until the last jar is filled to the brim...and then they receive a word that they claim as truth and as sufficient: to pay the debts AND have enough left to live on--all from that little bit of oil, dozens of jars, and tremendous faith!
I can't help but stop to think of all the what-ifs here. What if she HAD stopped at "nothing"? What if they didn't feel right asking for jars? What if the community questioned and didn't give? What if Elisha didn't speak his convictions? What if the woman refused to begin filling the jars because she knew a couple tablespoons were inadequate? What if she refused to ask for help from Elisha in the first place? And then I think... Isn't that so much like our Father in Heaven?! Isn't it so much like Him that He initiates relationship but waits for us to make the decision and to pursue a life with Him, instead of our never doing anything? Isn't it so much like our God not to want us to stop after one, two, twelve jars...but to chase more than we know are even out there? Isn't it so much like the Lord to keep the oil flowing to the brim and THEN give us enough to live on?
His word is real. Fresh. Personal. Thank You, Father.
If you aren't familiar with the story, the widow is left with her husband's debts, and creditors are threatening to come, bringing the possibility of her sons being sold as slaves. She calls on Elisha, the chief prophet, for a word from the Lord. Elisha then asks such a poignant question--"What do you have?" The woman begins by saying she has nothing and then remembers she does have something-- a little oil. Pause: If this were me, I am sure I would park on the "nothing" for quite a while, dramatize the severity of my situation, and do anything and everything to elicit self-pity. However, this widow doesn't stay there. She remembers something she does have, oil, and although her cupboards may be bare and her purse empty, she recognizes what she already has. Elisha works from there and tells her to go ask for jars...and adds a sweet side-note: "Don't ask for just a few." Second pause: I hate asking people for help. I mean, I HAAAATE it...and I hate to feel like I am in people's way. I don't know if I would let my timidity and stubbornness be put aside to ask for jars -- and MANY jars at that!
By faith, she and her sons will knock on people's doors and ask for EVERY jar they may have-- likely not knowing the purpose for this. By faith, the community lends their jars freely and unquestionably. By faith, Elisha speaks God's word that God can and does take what we have -- as insignificant as a little oil in a bare kitchen may seem -- and multiple it. Perhaps in His sovereignty, He has given or left us with something that He desires for us to offer before lavishing a bigger miracle on us. The widow and her sons fill every single jar with oil. That little bit of oil somehow does not stop flowing until the last jar is filled to the brim...and then they receive a word that they claim as truth and as sufficient: to pay the debts AND have enough left to live on--all from that little bit of oil, dozens of jars, and tremendous faith!
I can't help but stop to think of all the what-ifs here. What if she HAD stopped at "nothing"? What if they didn't feel right asking for jars? What if the community questioned and didn't give? What if Elisha didn't speak his convictions? What if the woman refused to begin filling the jars because she knew a couple tablespoons were inadequate? What if she refused to ask for help from Elisha in the first place? And then I think... Isn't that so much like our Father in Heaven?! Isn't it so much like Him that He initiates relationship but waits for us to make the decision and to pursue a life with Him, instead of our never doing anything? Isn't it so much like our God not to want us to stop after one, two, twelve jars...but to chase more than we know are even out there? Isn't it so much like the Lord to keep the oil flowing to the brim and THEN give us enough to live on?
His word is real. Fresh. Personal. Thank You, Father.
6.01.2007
So much CHANGE!
It seems like I constantly rationalize my lack of posts, but this is the first time in a few months I've gotten to sit down and write in hopes of being somewhat coherent! Since February I completed my first student teaching placement in 9-12 English and French, which was the most tiring and most affirming placement possible. I was nervous about the unfamiliar school district, taking on six classes of students with two subjects, and the drive each day. The Lord was - unsurprisingly! - so faithful to affirm my calling each day. At the end of the placement, the students really wowed me and showered me so many expressions of kindness. One class knew that in my future classroom I wanted small dry erase boards for each student, and on my last day my mentor handed me 28 white boards. The students began asking me questions about them and asked me to grab a bucket from across the room. This class always seemed to request the strangest things, so I had no clue what to expect. As I walked around the room, they FILLED my bucket with a couple dozen dry erase markers and each told me something they learned or appreciated from the months I had been there. I was blown away! My Father in heaven has humbled me so much these past several months.
After that placement, I headed to middle school language arts. Wow... I didn't remember teachers having to deal with so many more disciplinary issues at that level, but it was awesome to have that experience! It's sad to see so many students -- many girls! -- who feel hopeless and are unsure of how to deal with conflict, so they express it through violence or physical aggression and defensiveness. I had many more incidents of fighting, Internet bullying, and drama that we all remember from being twelve. One statement I tried to reinforce to my students is, "This is only for a SEASON. Whatever you are experiencing, doubting, questioning... it is a season and by the grace of God is temporary!!" I also had a really wonderful mentor with whom I was able to share the gospel and hopefully plant some seeds in a hurting family. The Lord certainly was sovereign in that placement as well!
On May 5, I graduated from King College. For the first time in almost 30 years, it poured the rain on graduation day, which isn't significant except for the fact that graduation is held outside on the college oval each year, with no alternate plan! It was still the most perfect day. It was so nice to hear family and friends acknowledge that our Father was glorified in the events, speeches, and planning for that day. I thank God each day that I was able to go to a school which was so edifying for my faith. He is so good. I came home that day to my own bed, not so much sad as excited. I am so excited for the day when I will have that interview that is assuring and walk into a classroom that I can call my own. I am even MORE excited about the day, only 40 some away, when I will walk down the aisle to meet my best friend to walk throughout life as his ministry partner and wife.
So, as we've struggled through so many issues the last several weeks during last minute wedding planning, house hunting, job searching, and stress relieving, God has again and again and again proven Himself more than enough! After some really discouraging days of rough apartments and others way out of our budget, He provided a really great one at an affordable rent price and in a fantastic location. He has given me some great contacts through school districts that may help in leading to a job. His people have showered us abundantly with an amazing church shower and a Pampered Chef shower where we were truly blown away... pictures to come. :) He provided an extra ticket to Living Proof Live with Beth Moore in Boone where I was able to enjoy a last event with my home church gals before heading to Scott's new workplace and our new church body.... He provided a message through Beth that I desperately needed in a season where the change seemed overwhelming.
All I can say is that I am thankful. He is too good for words.
After that placement, I headed to middle school language arts. Wow... I didn't remember teachers having to deal with so many more disciplinary issues at that level, but it was awesome to have that experience! It's sad to see so many students -- many girls! -- who feel hopeless and are unsure of how to deal with conflict, so they express it through violence or physical aggression and defensiveness. I had many more incidents of fighting, Internet bullying, and drama that we all remember from being twelve. One statement I tried to reinforce to my students is, "This is only for a SEASON. Whatever you are experiencing, doubting, questioning... it is a season and by the grace of God is temporary!!" I also had a really wonderful mentor with whom I was able to share the gospel and hopefully plant some seeds in a hurting family. The Lord certainly was sovereign in that placement as well!
On May 5, I graduated from King College. For the first time in almost 30 years, it poured the rain on graduation day, which isn't significant except for the fact that graduation is held outside on the college oval each year, with no alternate plan! It was still the most perfect day. It was so nice to hear family and friends acknowledge that our Father was glorified in the events, speeches, and planning for that day. I thank God each day that I was able to go to a school which was so edifying for my faith. He is so good. I came home that day to my own bed, not so much sad as excited. I am so excited for the day when I will have that interview that is assuring and walk into a classroom that I can call my own. I am even MORE excited about the day, only 40 some away, when I will walk down the aisle to meet my best friend to walk throughout life as his ministry partner and wife.
So, as we've struggled through so many issues the last several weeks during last minute wedding planning, house hunting, job searching, and stress relieving, God has again and again and again proven Himself more than enough! After some really discouraging days of rough apartments and others way out of our budget, He provided a really great one at an affordable rent price and in a fantastic location. He has given me some great contacts through school districts that may help in leading to a job. His people have showered us abundantly with an amazing church shower and a Pampered Chef shower where we were truly blown away... pictures to come. :) He provided an extra ticket to Living Proof Live with Beth Moore in Boone where I was able to enjoy a last event with my home church gals before heading to Scott's new workplace and our new church body.... He provided a message through Beth that I desperately needed in a season where the change seemed overwhelming.
All I can say is that I am thankful. He is too good for words.
2.19.2007
Different worlds..... or are they??
I don't know if I have ever posted twice in a day; I suppose I may reiterate that I have a snow day today! :) After checking my campus mail box which is typically uneventful (expect for the occasions when I get Scott's mail), I ripped into a new letter from the child Scott and I sponsor through Compassion International. First, if you don't know about Compassion or are looking for a way to partner in ministry, check out www.compassion.com. I am planning to send off my application soon to be an area rep. and will be giving more details about specific sponsorships during the MercyMe concert in the Tri-Cities at the end of March. This is a worthwhile cause and one that is so reliable.
Anyway, we've had Mwimi for about three years now, since the end of the first year we began dating... and it's been more fun than we could have ever imagined. I'm dying to head to Tanzania and meet him! One amazing thing about Compassion is that you stay very well-informed about your child. You receive report cards detailing his/her progress, drawings, new pictures, and letters pretty often, and you may respond online for an even more efficient and convenient means of communication. Today our letter was in response to the birthday gift we sent Mwimi through Compassion, which was a mere $10 extra... and Mwimi's translator wrote this: "He says he thanks you so much for the birthday gift. He enjoyed it so much and bought paint and materials to work on their house. Also they bought sugar..." This was an instance when I had to do a double-take. Did I seriously just read that this ten year old boy had just spent his special birthday gift for house materials and sugar? I was reminded that Daniel's and my ideas of luxury are so different. I can't imagine using birthday money at the age of ten (or 21!) for materials and ingredients. I was reminded that Daniel probably gets the "poverty in spirit" idea much better than I ever will (Matthew 5:3). Deep down, Daniel's heart and my heart are both vacuums waiting to be filled every day with the Spirit... and I can't help but think that maybe Daniel's birthday spendings would be a little more kingdom-like than mine.
This year, God has made me increasingly aware of the world's needs and of my own selfish ambition and (to put it correspondingly to my current study) our culture's Babylonian mentality. Yesterday morning, a woman for whom I have the utmost admiration and respect reminded me, "Allison, when you become aware, you're responsible." How true. With every inch of greater awareness, I have a tremendous God-given responsibility. May I never neglect it.
Anyway, we've had Mwimi for about three years now, since the end of the first year we began dating... and it's been more fun than we could have ever imagined. I'm dying to head to Tanzania and meet him! One amazing thing about Compassion is that you stay very well-informed about your child. You receive report cards detailing his/her progress, drawings, new pictures, and letters pretty often, and you may respond online for an even more efficient and convenient means of communication. Today our letter was in response to the birthday gift we sent Mwimi through Compassion, which was a mere $10 extra... and Mwimi's translator wrote this: "He says he thanks you so much for the birthday gift. He enjoyed it so much and bought paint and materials to work on their house. Also they bought sugar..." This was an instance when I had to do a double-take. Did I seriously just read that this ten year old boy had just spent his special birthday gift for house materials and sugar? I was reminded that Daniel's and my ideas of luxury are so different. I can't imagine using birthday money at the age of ten (or 21!) for materials and ingredients. I was reminded that Daniel probably gets the "poverty in spirit" idea much better than I ever will (Matthew 5:3). Deep down, Daniel's heart and my heart are both vacuums waiting to be filled every day with the Spirit... and I can't help but think that maybe Daniel's birthday spendings would be a little more kingdom-like than mine.
This year, God has made me increasingly aware of the world's needs and of my own selfish ambition and (to put it correspondingly to my current study) our culture's Babylonian mentality. Yesterday morning, a woman for whom I have the utmost admiration and respect reminded me, "Allison, when you become aware, you're responsible." How true. With every inch of greater awareness, I have a tremendous God-given responsibility. May I never neglect it.
A fresh word....
For the past month and a half, I have enjoyed gleaning so much from God's Word. Now that I am in the classroom (except for today - snow day!!!) I am beginning to develop more of a day-to-day routine. I've found that taking time to read from and meditate on Scripture is my refuge. Since beginning the Daniel study, my intellect has been stretched more than I could have ever imagined. This week's focus is Daniel 5, and the Lord has blown me away with some observations and realizations that perhaps may be of some interest or use to you.
"King Belshazzar made a great feast for a thousand of his lords and drank wine in front of the thousand. Belshazzar, when he tasted the wine, commanded that the vessels of gold and of silver that Nebuchadnezzar his father had taken out of the temple in Jerusalem be brought, that the king and his lords, his wives, and his concubines might drink from them. Then they brought in the golden vessels that had been taken out of the temple, the house of God in Jerusalem, and the king and his lords, his wives, and his concubines drank from them. They drank wine and praised the gods of gold and silver, bronze, iron, wood, and stone." -Daniel 5:1-4
After Belshazzar, Nebuchadnezzar's grandson, throws this crazy orgy, he demands that those articles taken earlier (Dan. 1) be brought out of storage. Scripture tells us in Leviticus that these articles and every little thing in the temple were anointed by Moses, and now Belshazzar takes these holy articles and uses them for unholy causes. God has been working on my mind to be more aware of whether (when!) I allow myself to be used for the Enemy's purposes as he uses me, whom God deems holy, for unholy purposes. The first problem here is that even as children of God, we often don't view ourselves as holy. I know my inner self is rotten to the core and so egocentric.... yet the Father calls us hagis, saints, all those who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. So, I guess the first challenge is this: Are we living like saints? Perfection is impossible, of course, but are we too busy dwelling on our sin and condemnation that we forget Christ has made us righteous (Rom. 3:23-24)? Do we treat our bodies, our minds, as the holy vessels that the Father says they are? Then, the second challenge is the question of whether, once I recognize that I am declared holy, I am contributing to the Enemy's habit of using holy people and objects and thwarting them into unholy causes and purposes.
Perhaps the coolest conclusion to this little story is that Belshazzar asks the people to bring him gold and silver goblets, and they bring only gold which likely represents the Babylonian empire (Dan. 2)... then that same night of the party, Belshazzar is slain when the Medo-Persians come in, the silver kingdom (Dan. 2). Although the Chaldeans/Babylonians brought only the gold, at the end of the day the silver kingdom ruled. After that, we know from Ezra that Cyrus the Great and the Medo-Persian empire made many positive advances.... and remember those holy articles used in an unholy way from before? In Ezra we see Cyrus taking those objects from storage and now returning those objects to those who were exiled... a beautiful, redemptive action that signals a shift from the Babylonian mentality.
Friends, we have so much to learn from His word!!!
"King Belshazzar made a great feast for a thousand of his lords and drank wine in front of the thousand. Belshazzar, when he tasted the wine, commanded that the vessels of gold and of silver that Nebuchadnezzar his father had taken out of the temple in Jerusalem be brought, that the king and his lords, his wives, and his concubines might drink from them. Then they brought in the golden vessels that had been taken out of the temple, the house of God in Jerusalem, and the king and his lords, his wives, and his concubines drank from them. They drank wine and praised the gods of gold and silver, bronze, iron, wood, and stone." -Daniel 5:1-4
After Belshazzar, Nebuchadnezzar's grandson, throws this crazy orgy, he demands that those articles taken earlier (Dan. 1) be brought out of storage. Scripture tells us in Leviticus that these articles and every little thing in the temple were anointed by Moses, and now Belshazzar takes these holy articles and uses them for unholy causes. God has been working on my mind to be more aware of whether (when!) I allow myself to be used for the Enemy's purposes as he uses me, whom God deems holy, for unholy purposes. The first problem here is that even as children of God, we often don't view ourselves as holy. I know my inner self is rotten to the core and so egocentric.... yet the Father calls us hagis, saints, all those who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. So, I guess the first challenge is this: Are we living like saints? Perfection is impossible, of course, but are we too busy dwelling on our sin and condemnation that we forget Christ has made us righteous (Rom. 3:23-24)? Do we treat our bodies, our minds, as the holy vessels that the Father says they are? Then, the second challenge is the question of whether, once I recognize that I am declared holy, I am contributing to the Enemy's habit of using holy people and objects and thwarting them into unholy causes and purposes.
Perhaps the coolest conclusion to this little story is that Belshazzar asks the people to bring him gold and silver goblets, and they bring only gold which likely represents the Babylonian empire (Dan. 2)... then that same night of the party, Belshazzar is slain when the Medo-Persians come in, the silver kingdom (Dan. 2). Although the Chaldeans/Babylonians brought only the gold, at the end of the day the silver kingdom ruled. After that, we know from Ezra that Cyrus the Great and the Medo-Persian empire made many positive advances.... and remember those holy articles used in an unholy way from before? In Ezra we see Cyrus taking those objects from storage and now returning those objects to those who were exiled... a beautiful, redemptive action that signals a shift from the Babylonian mentality.
Friends, we have so much to learn from His word!!!
2.14.2007
A Valentine's Revelation
Ever read Scripture over and over again, or pick up a chapter to read that you know you've read a dozen times before? Ever read it and realize that you thought you knew (intellectually) what it meant, but you've not quite done it justice in your life? Tonight after returning to my room, I realized that I have read Ephesians 6 and Genesis 1-3 so much. Not enough, of course, but it's not unfamiliar or new....and the Spirit slapped a revelation across my forehead. I know that I am to submit to my husband. I know that I was created to be his helpmate. I know that he is to have authority over me for a divine reason. However, only tonight did I realize some thought patterns that I possess before we are even married. We are at exactly five months from being married, and the Lord revealed to me that most of the time, I expect and wait for Scott to be my helper. I expect for him to walk in the other room and get something for me that I am more than capable of picking up myself... yet if he ever decided to insinuate that I didn't pick it up and could have, I would be offended and probably think he deemed me incapable. My, how the father of lies deceives God's children! I have so much head knowledge and have so much to transmit into my thought patterns and everyday life. I realize that this will not change overnight and that five months into marriage I will probably struggle with the same issue... but this evening, on Valentine's Day, I recognized this tempting thought pattern and my need to be absolutely intentional and deliberate in praying for its reversal. Our Father in Heaven is so faithful to bring new wisdom and insight to His children through His word!! Thank you, God!
Today, after a really rough school day, I met my sweet fiance. I knew he was up to something, but I didn't know quite what...only that food was involved! He spoiled me with an indoors picnic, complete with votives, candles, and rose petals scattered throughout the room. He cooked lemon pepper chicken with angel hair pasta, sauteed zucchini and squash, and made the best-looking monster cookie the world's ever seen. It definitely beat Cheddar's, for sure. I did not deserve one bit of that. Tonight is a night when I am just overwhelmed at my ignorance and foolishness and awestruck by the goodness and faithfulness of God. I am thankful that where I screw up, where I fall into unconstructive or damaging thought traps, where I am too concerned about myself, there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. Hallelujah - what a Savior!
Today, after a really rough school day, I met my sweet fiance. I knew he was up to something, but I didn't know quite what...only that food was involved! He spoiled me with an indoors picnic, complete with votives, candles, and rose petals scattered throughout the room. He cooked lemon pepper chicken with angel hair pasta, sauteed zucchini and squash, and made the best-looking monster cookie the world's ever seen. It definitely beat Cheddar's, for sure. I did not deserve one bit of that. Tonight is a night when I am just overwhelmed at my ignorance and foolishness and awestruck by the goodness and faithfulness of God. I am thankful that where I screw up, where I fall into unconstructive or damaging thought traps, where I am too concerned about myself, there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. Hallelujah - what a Savior!
2.06.2007
A month and a half later...
It's really too bad that I went this long without updating; I'd been doing so much better!! So many things have happened--way too much to chronicle in this blog. I'm grateful that I have kept up my "real" journal and have realized that I can't make much time for the Internet anymore.... which is probably for the best. Since I last wrote, I had an amazing Christmas with my family and wonderful fiance, who was (unfortunately for him) unable to be with his family for his last bachelor Christmas but was (fortunately for me) able to spend it with my family and enjoy many of our traditions. The Lord has been so faithful to use my family and friends to provide for us in ways that Scott and I could have never expected. He is taking care of us, no matter how much anxiety I seem to have from time to time. The new year kicked off, and I can't stop thinking about how this is my last year before I become a wife!! We have just over five months to go, and when we started with fifteen, I can't believe only five remain. :)
On January 2nd, I started life in the classroom. I have five classes of high schoolers right now-- French I, two French II, English 10 Honors, and General English 11-inclusion. I am thankful to be in a place where I have two awesome mentor teachers, feel included in the faculty, and have a really fantastic group of students!! The students have been so kind to me from day one. I'm also thankful that I have been able to see the full range of students with such totally different classes. I will admit, however, that I anticipate heading to the middle school because I will hopefully be doing less preparations! Right now I am planning for 25 classes a week, and that is killing me. This is my last week doing the FULL load at the high school. I look forward to having one grade in middle school (7th), but I know that I don't want to leave AHS. I am crazy about those kids! I have come to enjoy my 30-minute drive each way and by day three realized that it's the perfect time to bathe those students and that school day in prayer. My heart breaks for these students who are expected to concentrate on proofreading practice and learning irregular conjugations and analyzing a novel when they have worked 60 hours that week, when Dad just got thrown in jail, when the best friend just committed suicide, when they just got put on probation. It's certainly not all depressing all the time, but I realize that I have grown up so privileged compared the majority of my students. I appreciate even more my responsibility and conviction as a teacher to ensure that school is a place of safety, consistency, and sincerity. I've learned that they see right through you and don't respond well to angry or sarcastic teachers. I've learned that when you show them that you appreciate what they're doing those eight hours every day and when you take interest in how their sick grandmother is or how they made the soccer team, they see that they mean something...that there is meaning...that I am not there simply to exist or to do a job. I am thankful most of all that this time has been nothing but affirmation for my calling (at least for as long as I know) to teach. I have felt beaten down and defeated so often and have cried more each week than I have in my entire life, but I feel like I'm getting through to them.... That is priceless.
Scott is one of two candidates remaining of forty-something who applied for this youth ministry position. Our Father has been so gracious to give each of us so many situations of absolute humility and, in many ways, feelings of defeat these last several weeks. We have each found ourselves in circumstances and conversations we could have never imagined. He is at work. I am learning to wait on Him. He is really doing something big in us... I am most stoked about that. A few weeks ago, I began another study - this time Daniel by Beth Moore. This is my first time doing a Bible study in a group of ladies not my age or younger. All of them are older than me, and I anticipate each week's meeting of fellowship, prayer, discussion, and lattes more and more. These are dozens of women who have come from all walks of faith in my home community, and we have many congregations, ages, and backgrounds represented. They are all strong women of faith that spur me on toward abiding in Jesus. I am so excited about the things impressed on my heart by the Lord, and I plan to share those in the next couple of months. It is one of the most culturally-relevant and mind-stretching studies I have done... plus it is OT and Revelation- two areas most intimidating to me. Anyway, time for some more papers to grade until I update again..... not six weeks later next time-- I promise!!
On January 2nd, I started life in the classroom. I have five classes of high schoolers right now-- French I, two French II, English 10 Honors, and General English 11-inclusion. I am thankful to be in a place where I have two awesome mentor teachers, feel included in the faculty, and have a really fantastic group of students!! The students have been so kind to me from day one. I'm also thankful that I have been able to see the full range of students with such totally different classes. I will admit, however, that I anticipate heading to the middle school because I will hopefully be doing less preparations! Right now I am planning for 25 classes a week, and that is killing me. This is my last week doing the FULL load at the high school. I look forward to having one grade in middle school (7th), but I know that I don't want to leave AHS. I am crazy about those kids! I have come to enjoy my 30-minute drive each way and by day three realized that it's the perfect time to bathe those students and that school day in prayer. My heart breaks for these students who are expected to concentrate on proofreading practice and learning irregular conjugations and analyzing a novel when they have worked 60 hours that week, when Dad just got thrown in jail, when the best friend just committed suicide, when they just got put on probation. It's certainly not all depressing all the time, but I realize that I have grown up so privileged compared the majority of my students. I appreciate even more my responsibility and conviction as a teacher to ensure that school is a place of safety, consistency, and sincerity. I've learned that they see right through you and don't respond well to angry or sarcastic teachers. I've learned that when you show them that you appreciate what they're doing those eight hours every day and when you take interest in how their sick grandmother is or how they made the soccer team, they see that they mean something...that there is meaning...that I am not there simply to exist or to do a job. I am thankful most of all that this time has been nothing but affirmation for my calling (at least for as long as I know) to teach. I have felt beaten down and defeated so often and have cried more each week than I have in my entire life, but I feel like I'm getting through to them.... That is priceless.
Scott is one of two candidates remaining of forty-something who applied for this youth ministry position. Our Father has been so gracious to give each of us so many situations of absolute humility and, in many ways, feelings of defeat these last several weeks. We have each found ourselves in circumstances and conversations we could have never imagined. He is at work. I am learning to wait on Him. He is really doing something big in us... I am most stoked about that. A few weeks ago, I began another study - this time Daniel by Beth Moore. This is my first time doing a Bible study in a group of ladies not my age or younger. All of them are older than me, and I anticipate each week's meeting of fellowship, prayer, discussion, and lattes more and more. These are dozens of women who have come from all walks of faith in my home community, and we have many congregations, ages, and backgrounds represented. They are all strong women of faith that spur me on toward abiding in Jesus. I am so excited about the things impressed on my heart by the Lord, and I plan to share those in the next couple of months. It is one of the most culturally-relevant and mind-stretching studies I have done... plus it is OT and Revelation- two areas most intimidating to me. Anyway, time for some more papers to grade until I update again..... not six weeks later next time-- I promise!!
12.20.2006
With ten thousand beside....
Have I been blessed this week- and it's only Wednesday!!! Yesterday my amazing fiance called to tell me that he has an interview tomorrow for a full-time ministry job that we've been praying about for nearly two months. God is so good! I am thankful for this interview; just the chance to speak a little more than a resume can reveal is an incredible opportunity. My best friend called to tell me that she has found an interim teaching position to fill in for a lady on maternity leave, and she just finished classes last week! My family is all doing well at the moment despite various illnesses. Another friend with whom I've gotten much closer this year just called from Chattanooga to tell me that she and a good friend of Scott and me just got engaged. This week I really am just overwhelmed.
Last night was a huge blessing in itself. Several faithful friends showed up at my second family's home to give us a Christmas shower! What a fantastic idea!! No one really knew what to expect, but it turned out to be perfect. We were surprised with several fun ornaments to decorate our first tree next year, as well as many other little Christmas boxes and candles... My parents even surprised us with stockings that have our names on them. Amy, who organized the shower, did a stellar job planning with her husband. Since they are on furlough from Venezuela, they wowed us with some great homemade goodies like salsa, guacamole, mini tacos, bean dip...the whole nine yards. Plus, they rigged up a couple of great games. It was our first wedding shower and was so nice that I don't know if I want to have another one! :) I loved having Scott beside me opening things up... I don't understand why guys don't come to those things more. As if I needed a reminder (which really, I think I always do, because I never seem to live a life of ceaseless gratefulness), the kindness of those friends and family last night blew me away. I was reminded of how sweet it is to live in community. One of my biggest prayers right now is for the church where Scott and I will be after we are first married. We don't know where that is yet since the job thing is up in the air, but I have seen what it is like to be in tight community and what it is like to be seeking, searching, hungry for more- feeling disjointed and isolated. I'm reminded that Christ isolated himself only to pray, and I know when I isolate myself for too long, things go downhill fast. How blessed we are to be sons and daughters of God, brothers and sisters through the grace of Jesus Christ.
And P.S.: Again, this is one of those days where I just really, really can't wait to be a wife. I can't wait to share a home with my closest friend and partner in ministry, to decorate our first tree, to make white chicken chili when it's cold out, to fold his T-shirts.... I am ecstatic. The Lord is so good to us!!
Last night was a huge blessing in itself. Several faithful friends showed up at my second family's home to give us a Christmas shower! What a fantastic idea!! No one really knew what to expect, but it turned out to be perfect. We were surprised with several fun ornaments to decorate our first tree next year, as well as many other little Christmas boxes and candles... My parents even surprised us with stockings that have our names on them. Amy, who organized the shower, did a stellar job planning with her husband. Since they are on furlough from Venezuela, they wowed us with some great homemade goodies like salsa, guacamole, mini tacos, bean dip...the whole nine yards. Plus, they rigged up a couple of great games. It was our first wedding shower and was so nice that I don't know if I want to have another one! :) I loved having Scott beside me opening things up... I don't understand why guys don't come to those things more. As if I needed a reminder (which really, I think I always do, because I never seem to live a life of ceaseless gratefulness), the kindness of those friends and family last night blew me away. I was reminded of how sweet it is to live in community. One of my biggest prayers right now is for the church where Scott and I will be after we are first married. We don't know where that is yet since the job thing is up in the air, but I have seen what it is like to be in tight community and what it is like to be seeking, searching, hungry for more- feeling disjointed and isolated. I'm reminded that Christ isolated himself only to pray, and I know when I isolate myself for too long, things go downhill fast. How blessed we are to be sons and daughters of God, brothers and sisters through the grace of Jesus Christ.
And P.S.: Again, this is one of those days where I just really, really can't wait to be a wife. I can't wait to share a home with my closest friend and partner in ministry, to decorate our first tree, to make white chicken chili when it's cold out, to fold his T-shirts.... I am ecstatic. The Lord is so good to us!!
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